Lara

Life update...

2008-05-25T19:48:00.000-07:00

Wow! It has been too long since I wrote anything about my life. So much has happened. I will begin with the fact that I have been going through some major changes in my life the last few years which has led me to a separation with my husband in our 10th year of marriage. I haven't moved out yet, but have an apartment setup for June 21. I am nervous but looking forward to finding my own happiness and self esteem. I know it is in there somewhere, I have realized that I have been living my life for other people since, OMG, forever. I missed out on my teenage years because I practically raised my sister. I then spent five years with a guy that treated me like shit, then back in with my mother that never let me be me to another relationship that broke my spirit. I had a child with that person but went from that relationship to the marriage I am in now. I have never been alone and I am almost forty years old. Just saying that creeps me out! I am married to the most awesome guy. I have just been so unhappy in my own life for so long that it made me unhappy in my marriage. He is the best father anyone could ever ask for their children which is why when he asked that I not take them away from him I agreed. If he was anything short of a fantastically awesome daddy, I wouldn't consider it. This way, they don't have to leave their home, their friends or school. My family doesn't approve but I have to make this work for all of us.
Meanwhile I have gotten in touch with a friend from high school that I have been talking to for months and have some kind of feelings for but he says he doesn't feel that way. It is kind of sad, not that I need to start another relationship and have that kind of confusion. We actually spend a lot of time together and are having a good time but who knows. He has been my escape from my life at home. He is always there for me when I need to talk or get away from it all.
On a good note, school is almost out and my kids are going into 7th, 4th and Kindergarten.
Well, nothing like putting my whole life out there. This is unusual for me but it helps I think.
Will update again soon.

To Catch Up...

2008-03-03T17:36:00.001-08:00

Patrick sent me this picture, nice ha? I made it my wallpaper too! His friend took it recently. I haven't written in a long while. It has been so busy at work with tax season starting. I cannot wait until April 15! What have I been up to since January you ask?? Well, I went on a weekend with the girls for the Praying Mantis Sisterhood. It was a blast. I reconnected with some really good friends and we did girl stuff like shop and .....shop and drink and Oh! we visited Fairvilla susperstore! That was an experience. Did I mention that we drank an entire bottle of tequila shots? That evening was quite fun! haha. I am taking a health and wellness class in which I have discovered how truly of a fat ass I am! We measured body fat, that was an enlightenment for me. If I could never eat again I would be all for it. It is so frustrating to think about what I am eating. I guess it is time for Golds Gym. I truly want to get into my pre-baby body again. I have my 20 year reunion in August of this year, so that is good incentive to get off my ass. I also spent a weekend in Kissimmee this passed weekend with friends. That was a hoot. Friday night, more tequila. I am so happy that I have reconnected with these friends. I was friends with them in high school but did not hang out of school too much. I really enjoy each of their company. I hope that after the reunion we will continue to keep in touch. Their friendship means a lot. It is time for me to build some life long friendships. I have only had one person that I have kept in touch with over the passed 20 years. I really need these friends in my life. I feel a closeness with them, I really hope that it is not a one way street. I would miss each of them if they decide not to keep in touch with me. I have something different in common with each of them I think. It is nice to be able to open up and ask them or tell them pretty much anything. I have so longed for friends like that.
I guess enough with the mushy stuff. I think that about wraps it up. I haven't had much going on except work and school. I will try to keep up to date from now on.
Peace!

My holiday...

2007-12-30T12:42:00.001-08:00

Some of you may wonder why I have said "Happy Birthday" to all my boys. My oldest turns twelve on January 18, my middle on January 27 and my youngest January 9. Hopefully the weather holds out so we can have one birthday party at the skate park on the 19th. That is the plan!
We had a busy holiday but it was nice. I grilled out on Christmas Eve and my mom had a monster dinner on Christmas Day. It was a nice visit with everyone. The kids got many things that they had asked for they had a really nice day.
I have been really busy at work and SOOO burned out from this past semester, I cannot seem to get caught up. I am hoping to get all done at work this week so I can take a week off the week of January 7. Wish me luck!
We don't have plans for New Years Eve as of yet. My sister wants to do something but I am not one for going out much on NYE. So, we may hang out here after dinner and have some drinks.
So, to all my friends, I wish you a wonderful 2008!!!

Finish up the semester, yay!!!

2007-12-11T18:17:00.001-08:00

I have completed three final exams out of four. Number four comes tomorrow and it is going to be the final exam from hell. I have been tooooo busy to keep up with this blog. I did get on and read a few of my friends but I didn't have anything new to report. I did finish my Christmas shopping and I finally bought cards so I will be mailing them soon.
I recently stayed at the Orlando Marriott World Center for my husbands company Christmas party. It was nice. I did, however, realize that I have issues with heights. We were upgraded to a suite on the 25th floor. I thought that was fabulous until we go into the three sided glass elevator. That creeped me out. I dreaded going out or back to the room because besides have three sides glass to look DOWN, the elevator was like an airplane everytime it stopped to pick someone up it was like wooosh. I did rent a movie from my room, "Good Luck Chuck", Funny!!!! Not suitable for children but funny as hell!
So, I got my kids pictures taken for the first time in more than five years. Bad Mommy!! They turned out really nice. I will be posting the rest of them this weekend when I get the CD back from my cousin so check out my myspace next week.
I realized this month that I need to start a fund for birthdays and Christmas. I have ten birthdays in my immediate family within three months (Nov-Jan) and Christmas! Crazy!!
So, back to the studying for me!

I am off Monday, Woo Hoo!!!

2007-11-11T16:30:00.000-08:00

WooHoo, my boss sent me an email that we are going to be closed tomorrow!! Do you know how long it has been since I had a day off without anyone home!?! I am looking forward to it.
I didn't do much this weekend, rearranged my living room Saturday, getting ready for my Christmas tree. Placement is important. I just cannot decide whether I want it in front of my glass window or my glass door. We will see....pretty insignificant I know. But I love my Christmas tree!
Now I just have homework and studying to do...only six more weeks of this semester! Did I relay that information before? Well I am really looking forward to it. REALLY!!
I am excited to go to Kissimmee this weekend. Friday night, Christy's! Saturday probably shopping!! No concrete plans there. I turn 37 on Sunday so I thought a little "me" time would be warranted. This age thing is really starting to take notice with me. I didn't care about turning 30 but coming up on 40 is freaking me out a little bit. I mean, that is old right?
Well, must finish laundry, YUCK, my most (almost) hated thing to do!

Christmas is coming!

2007-11-09T17:06:00.000-08:00

I played hookie from work yesterday and went Christmas shopping with my hubby. I bought just about everything on my list. My kids are going to be psyched! I am usually done with Christmas shopping by August but I had not even started so I was starting to stress a little. I am happy to say that my kids are getting almost everything on their lists. They are pretty realistic in their wants. It will be fun this year, Chase is almost five and he is getting so excited!
I felt 80% better yesterday than I did Monday through Wednesday. I thought I was going to get really sick as bad as I felt the first part of the week but I think I kicked it! yay! Now let's hope the kids will stay sick free. I miss so much work with them getting sick back to back.
I am going to finish watching my sick soap opera so have a great night!!

Another study day....avoided

2007-11-04T17:13:00.000-08:00

So, I fell asleep 30 minutes into my studying! Now I am tired...so I took a trip to Starbucks! Hey, they are opening another Starbucks in Lakeland, that will make SIX! I spent the weekend in Kissimmee/Orlando and I found one! Anyway, I started my Christmas shopping today. I am usually done by August so I have been stressing about it. I now have my list done so I just am waiting to find some stuff on sale. My kids are going to be psyched this year. They are getting to the age that they want electronics so they won't have a ton to open this year...expensive!
I am getting excited about the girls weekend in February. It should be a ton of fun! I hope everyone is able to go on the annual trips. I hope that everyone is able to make the commitment to get together for the long term. I would love to have a bunch of weekends to look back on when i get older.
I suppose I better get back to studying! sucks

AArrrgh!

2007-10-26T12:23:00.000-07:00

So, we took the little one to the ENT doctor today...day after Thanksgiving tonsils are coming out! Hopefully it will make a difference! He has been sick since he was less than a year old with sinus problems which always lead to tonsillitis and strep. He already had tubes put in. That helped with the ear infections. Every time he is sick we miss a week of work...it is time for some relief, he is almost five years old!!
I am getting really excited about the Praying Mantis adventures! My husband is glad that I am taking some interest in doing some "girl" things for myself. He has his fishing trips that he takes as often as possible so this will be a nice thing for me to do outside the family. Fun times to come! It will be a huge change for me to be meeting new people and getting to know them. I don't really do that. Or should I say, I never have been that person. Changes can be a good thing!
My oldest son got braces yesterday! He thinks he is so grown up now since he is in middle school now. Did you know that braces cost $5300 now? Whoah nelly. I figured like $3500. Crazy. It covers four years of appointments and retainer but damn. I have two more kids to go after this one.
So, does anyone besides me watch Bones? None of my family does except me. I love it. Just DO IT already! Bones and her FBI sidekick need to just do it, but that is the way it goes in every show right? Then it would be over. '
I will take a nap now, migraine!!

The voices that bug me!

2007-10-22T18:07:00.000-07:00

I recently did a survey on myspace and one of the questions was something like "whose voice bugs you the most" I couldn't think of anyone at the time but I was sitting in my business math class and geography class the other night and it hit me in the middle of class! There are four ladies that completely annoy me in class. There is the chick with a cocky New (sounds like) Jersey accent, the chick behind me is really scruffy, high pitchy mix and the chick to my left has a really slow southern drawal and doesn't get it! In my geography class, the lady doesn't exactly have an annoying voice except that she never shuts up!! That is probably the same issue with the others I listed ..... they talk tooooo much! Just shut up and listen please.
I had to get that out! On a good note, my night class was canceled today so I got to come home and veg.

Oops, forgot it was Sunday's at mom's...

2007-10-21T16:01:00.000-07:00

So, we woke up unusually early this morning and decided to go to breakfast. Three quarters of the way through breakfast my oldest son says "Weren't we supposed to go to Nana's?" Oh Shit! So, we finished eating and drove to my mom's house and told her she didn't have to cook breakfast for us today. SORRY! We are supposed to start doing breakfast every Sunday at my mom's house at the request of my cousin. It is cool, I can hold the adorable little chunky Jules for a little while and eat a good breakfast. We just completely forgot today. Otherwise the rest of the day was nice. Ran a couple of errands, went to Starbucks for my daily fix of iced tea. I took my afternoon nap since I woke up so unusually early this morning. I woke up from my nap to "Saturday Night Live" with John Travolta, WOAH, funny. Now, time for homework and studying! Yay! I cannot wait. When on earth will this school thing be over! Not soon enough for sure.
I realize that my blogs are not too interesting these days. I just haven't had too much going on in my life. This is a nice place to recap my days though. So, maybe something interesting will come up soon! haha

Today was a decent day...

2007-10-18T19:19:00.000-07:00

This morning didn't suck getting the kids ready. No bickering between the kids, that was nice. Worked all day, then got a call that some family had gathered at my house. OK, well it ended up to be a nice evening. We went out to dinner, all eleven of us. Happy Birthday Mom! I am tired, tired tired. Will update tomorrow. I am wondering who is planning the OHS get together tomorrow night. I don't know if I can do it. I have been gone every night this week at school and stuff. I am so tired. We will see how I feel tomorrow night.

Life as I know it....

2007-10-15T17:11:00.000-07:00

I don't think I could ask for a better husband. He is the best dad, he isn't a jealous person, he lets me have time to myself without question....so why is it that I often feel so alone? At some point I became so anti-social that outside of my friend circle I have one friend left. Frankly it sucks. I don't know what it is like to have girlfriends nights out or weekends away. I have never had that in my life and now at 37 I am regretting the decisions I made to alienate myself from life.
So, on that note, I hope to change these things that bother me in life. I have had self esteem issues since my first long term relationship that started in high school through a very short lived marriage when he treated me like shit and cheated with more girls than I can even imagine. Then my next relationship three years later sucked too! What is it with guys that don't know how to treat a lady?? Then I married someone I knew since I was 15....from the old roller skating days. We were friends for so long and we continue to be friends. I guess I have done enough sulking for tonight. It is just what happens when I am tired, I ramble, but that is what this blog thing is for right??

Thanks Christy!

2007-10-15T12:03:00.000-07:00

Hey all. Thanks Christy! I didn't know this existed until I read your bulletin on myspace. This is a good place to vent or reminisce (sp?) I will have to sit down at the end of the week and see all the stuff I can do here.

Hmmm

2007-10-15T10:55:00.001-07:00

This is new. Just checking it out right now.